i REFUSE to cry, with 5 pairs of eyes blazing.
and i really really appreciate and thank manda for her encouragements thruout, ive never appreciated her much before.
and we have so much more to go.
so inadequate, so insufficient,
when all your nonchalance cancels out your non-committal promises of enthusiasm.
i, at least, want to prove them wrong, if not to satisfy my anger.
im determined not to be the one who drags us all down.
dont cry girl, you've gotta defeat this skepticism.

and yesterday As are out.
i wish there was smthg i could say, or do, just so you feel better.
but i dont know what, or how.
would a hug be sufficient? Thank god anyhow, and make the best of it.
its not the end you know, your worth isnt measured out in letters of the alphabet.
liwei and engsiang and peishan's happy now i guess.
but we dont all have to run this rat race...
you can, if you believe.